About this blog

My only daughter's name is Clea. Clea was six years and nine months old and she was enjoying a family holiday in Samoa when the ocean surged as a wall, ten metres high, and drowned her. Many other people died that morning of 29 September 2009.
The other four members of her family survived the tsunami.
Life has never been the same since. It will never be the same. This blog features memories, reflections, poetry, etc...
Just let me stay with her under this moon,
hold her in my arms, spin her in the air,
with my dear daughter in some timeless swoon.

Tuesday, 24 April 2012

Why this blog?

Cupid and Psyche, late 18th or early 19th century, in terracotta
. Claude Michel, 'Clodion' (1738-1814).
Photograph by Barry Green.

Why this blog?
For many reasons, among them the perceived need to separate the fundamentally literary stuff from the more personal issue of grief. Another reason: because I'm about to quit my job of 4 years and will have (should have) more time for myself. Yet another reason: because I want to challenge silence, and throw the gauntlet to indifference. Yet another reason: boys don't cry?

Why the name?
It comes from one of my poems, the second of the 'Four Sonnets' I wrote in 2010 and published last year, in what was an attempt to describe the despair and hopelessness I felt after waking up from the most beautiful dream I have had since Clea died. (By the way, mostly, they've been nightmares, not dreams). But in this dream of mine, Clea and I were again playing, she was chatting to me in that giggly girly voice of hers, I was once again holding her arms and spinning her around the way I used to do when I dropped her at school in the mornings – Clea just loved that. Timeless swoon defines the state I’d prefer to be in: an endless sleep where everything is right again, where my life is the way it was before 29 September 2009, a dream from which I would rather not wake up, not ever again.

Why in English? 
Why not? I'm not afraid of words, are you?

What will appear here?
Blood, sweat and tears.

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