Quite a few months ago I took part in a Saturday day-long
course designed to provide some guidance, encouragement and ideas to people of
NESB [Non-English Speaking Background] who seek to publish their
literature. Considering it a posteriori, attending may have been a lapse
on my part; perhaps I’m still not prepared for attending such events. However, I
cannot deny I have always loved literature; after all, I do like writing; I
have created a few things I think I can be proud of.
There’s Lalomanu, of course, but also
the Four
Sonnets and a few other poems in English (Words
for a Dead Daughter, or Whisper
Her Name in the Wind, or even these poems,
which I wrote before September 2009); I have also written some poetry in
Catalan (Una
mena de rutina or El
teu arbret), and there is a couple of short stories I have published in
Spanish (Duende and Olor a muerte).
There was some commotion in the room when I was asked about
my story. Everyone was shocked (understandably, I suppose); they were appalled
and of course saddened by Clea’s death, by what happened to us in Samoa. The
facilitator, after the initial shock, appeared to become quite positive, almost
enthusiastic, about the story. The idea was, basically, that I had a book to
sell if I was prepared to sell my story.
My response was (and still is) that I do not want to ‘sell
my story’. No, I do not want to sell my pain. I am well aware there is a market
(one of those words whose meaning I choose to despise). The facilitator then asked
why I had come to the course. ‘What are you doing here?’. Indeed: what on earth
was I doing there?
Yet I did not really feel like replying. The question was, I
felt, a little intrusive. The thing is: I like writing, I like literature. That
should be a good enough reason to attend a one-day course for aspiring NESB
writers.
I know there are people who have sold their stories of
survival in catastrophes. I know there is a market for grief literature. But I
have never bought a book of that kind. The closest I have been to something of
the kind is probably Anh Do’s The
Happiest Refugee (NB: the review is in Spanish), which I found had more
things I disliked than I liked.
In fact, I'd say I have already written the story: it is
called Lalomanu, because that was the
name of the place where it happened. It is the Samoan placename that appears in
Clea's death certificates (yes, you get two when the deceased has dual nationality). I have told my story, our story, but not the way the
market wants it.
As far I'm concerned, the market can get stuffed.
As far I'm concerned, the market can get stuffed.
Thank you for your beautiful poetry. I hope that by linking it on my site
ReplyDeletehttp://www.scoop.it/t/grief-and-loss
other grieving parents and family members and friends will read it.
I think your poetry is a beautiful and lasting tribute to Clea and should be shared with as many people as possible.