Although it was a very hard thing to do and I never used nicotine
patches or anything else, I definitively quit smoking about three months after
Clea was born. One of the best decisions I’ll ever make.
At Easter 2003, we were the still inexperienced parents
driving northwards to Coonabarabran (NSW), where for the first night we stayed
in a dreadfully tobacco-smelling motel. Clea cried her heart out all the way in
the car because she was teething. On top of the not unexpected stress I felt
because of my own nicotine withdrawal symptoms, our daughter’s relentless
crying in the back seat was driving the driver (me) insane. I recall stopping
the car in a biggish town (Was it Parkes? Or maybe Forbes?) halfway to our
destination, and getting out of the car to swear loud and clear. Letting off
steam. A good lady who was passing by eyed me curiously, obviously a little
shocked by what she had witnessed.
I have always liked walking, and Australia has plenty of
bushwalks to offer. That Easter we did a couple of short walks in the Warrumbungle
Mountains, near Coonabarabran. That was the first bushwalk Clea did, placidly
asleep against my chest in a pouch-like pack that hanged from my shoulders.
Throughout the 6 years and 9 months of her lifetime, Clea had
developed a penchant for bushwalking and exploring. When we lived in Yass, New
South Wales, Clea and I would take long walks around town, her body comfortably
perched on a baby backpack; she would often pull my ears and squeal with delight
at my fake groans of pain.
By far, the most enjoyable walks were those taken outside
town. In Canberra we would often walk in Mulligan’s Flat or Goorooyaroo
Reserves, which are not far from home and are rich in native wildlife. This
photo was taken quite a few years ago. We went to the Mundoonen Nature Reserve
outside Yass; it was a cool spring morning and fog was still swirling among the
gum trees while feeble sunbeams eerily intersected with the shades of trees. We
spotted an echidna that day, and Clea was very excited at seeing such a little
creature burrowing into the ground.
There are moments I see myself like the echidna, burrowing
into a reminiscence of time, a warm place whence I might not want to get out.
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